Just look at you, all sad, wearing that worn out Taylor Swift T-shirt. Is that Cheeto dust? Yep, it sure as hell is. It’s no wonder your training buddies don’t respect you. You don’t even respect yourself. Step up to the mirror you little disappointment and let Uncle Legion talk at you one time. What do you see? A sad, unfit, pathetic little mess. But not all is lost. Behind those eyes is a fire. A fire that burns hotter than the devil’s #&*$. Oh, you gonna be somebody. It’s there. You gotta embrace that fire, gear the #$*& up and throat punch the next moron that says the remake of Red Dawn was better than the original. Now you may be asking, “but Uncle Legion, where do I start???” Start by changing out of that dirty ass shirt. Slip into that crispy Be The Weapon  Legion rig and update your Farmers Only profile pic. Buck up cupcake, it’s about to be your time.

*soul stealing ginger beefcake not included

Legion Defense Solutions Gear – Gildan 100% Ultra Cotton, Men’s Cut T-Shirts, Custom Screen Printed, available in Desert Tan and OD Green.